Intro: bata mi a dun ko ko ka
ti n ba kawe mi
bata mi a dun ko ko ka

This promise they made us was kept broken, in a heap of chaotic regret
First year
I knew acronyms like my life depended on it
Stuffed my head full of scientific citations
Till my brain was choked, constipated on Newtonian notations

Around the same time I watched Harry Potter
And I still can open his memories with a flick of Alohomora
While the doors of my first year are shut out in amnesia
It would seem I have been more educated by J.K. Rowling
Than Professor X.Y. Zed

Like Mummy said, those with better grades
Don’t always have bigger heads, but I have seen an F become an A by people
With pregnant purses and those with bigger bums too
But this will not condone our laziness
Or the poor preparation preceding poor performances

They labelled us half-baked graduates
But I wander what they expected from half-heated lecture halls
Half-wet tutors and heat-resistant teaching guides

My advice to freshers is: do not show the glowing embers
Of your painstakingly acquired skills
These hollow-eyed vampires and this steel-walled slavery system
Will suck you dry and knock you cold
Even I have seen creativity fade on the coffers of deadlines

I can tell of meals set on the binary of 010
Of hunger integrated into poverty
After our pocket money has been differentiated
By unnecessary handouts that are the only passports from carryovers

I can tell tales of lecturers who never gave an A
And ”Pharaohs” who never let my people go with even an E
We have seen results signed with the distinction of a 75 F
Just hope your lecturers don’t fancy you, ma
Or take notice of our girlfriends’ strawberry lips

Before you get carried away in the lullaby of well-mowed lawns and fancy school gates
let me awaken you to the reality of overcrowded lecture halls
jar you with the nightmare of understocked laboratories
And outdated libraries

Our parents paid for a do-it-yourself education and snail-speed internet
I’m vexed at guys who can’t see any greatness beyond the B.Tech., M.Sc., and Ph.D.
And ladies whose picture of a future is the glamour of another man’s kitchen.

I can tell of segregated faculties, apartheid departments and Jim Crow professions
Apparently if you aren’t a doctor, a lawyer or an engineer,
Your career path is set to end in doom
So rather than kick against the poor standards of education
We dine in arrogant ignorance, Broken into egoistic clusters
Easy to manipulate, cheat and rule

For a moment forget ASUU, forget the government
Find ways to build and equip yourself
I’m proudly a student out of the University of Google
Because I know that whether I’m straight out of
LAUTECH, OAU, UNIBEN, ABU OR UNIZIK
The public schools don’t build us, we build ourselves

To those who crouch in mosquito-infested halls
Behind the ochre flames of midnight candles
Frozen by cold breath through the mouth of broken windows
In pursuit of various A’s and B’s, may your dreams come true.

Among the streams of uneducated literates and certificated ignoramuses
Targeted for an ill-prepared labour market
I dare you to walk the extra mile
Exam results are not meant to decide our fate
Dream wide, fly high, chase your goals and face your fears
Because greatness too is meant for you.

Originally published on Facebook on 7 October 2015.