Bleeding Heart — Beloved

I find no imagery apt to render my feelings

Why is there no colour to paint my suffering?

A continuous churning deep down my tummy

Feeling like a feeling that needs attending

It feels like love, then hate

Or more like the love I never had

The room I’m in;

Through which the door I never passed

I write to vomit this gloom inside of me

Yet I feel my mind moping

Moping at how ineffective my words

Had dispatched its sorrows

Tears shadowed by the falling rain

Making a perfect mix of faux love

Life would have been a lot easier without love…

Life without love would have been a rot

But if i may ask, why bring together

That which you would never accommodate

Why light a fire that was never made to burn

Why create a smile that would only make one cry

These are questions I never meant to ask

Naught for my pen’s ineptitude to ferry my heart’s twinge

Festal dance on broken bottles

Feigned happiness on broken hearts

How much blood from my breaking heart

Would satiate the flames of your waging tongue

How many more do I sacrifice?

To cross this crossroads of love and no love

I feel too pained to keep my pen upright

Not at the thought of a beloved

Cause there never was one

All were just the ink to fuel the pen of this injured poet.

I weep but not with my eyes

I feel my heart drowning

In the tears of my mind

Where the rain would never wash away its drib

These are not words

On these pages I engrave my heart

Blemished by the use of words

Chipping away edges of my feelings

Never making it whole and never leaving it alone.

I lay down my pen now

With hopes I might pick it up again

With another tear in my heart

I write the words of my bleeding heart.